


It will never be enough

by ScreenWentWhite



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Pre-TME, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 11:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12210162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScreenWentWhite/pseuds/ScreenWentWhite
Summary: No matter how perfect the Empress was at never showing emotions, Briala always knew just what Celene felt.





	It will never be enough

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is set somewhere about a year before the events of TME, I imagined.

She sighed in relive when she sank slowly into the warm water of her bath. The warm water smelled of Roses and smoothened her tiered body. But yet, of course she would not quite let go, for she was well aware of the presence of the three elven servants. Even in her most private moments she was never truly alone. A circumstance the Empress of Orlais had learned to come on terms with. It wasn't like she had known much different anyway.  
She looked over to the three elven girls. They all stood dutifully with their backs turned towards her. No servant was to see the Empress naked. No servant but one, the Empress smiled sadly. She playfully slide her hand over the water surface. Dried flowers and soapy bubbles dimmed the sight and complimented her nose. She took one deep breath before she dived underwater. Her eyes stayed closed as the water flowed around her head and she enjoyed the feeling of her hair dancing seemingly without gravity around her.  
Those moments, it seemed to the Empress, were the closed ones she would ever have to being alone. And she would cherish every single of it. Because here under the water she was not the Empress, the weight of the Empire and Theads did not lie on her shoulders. It was just a small moment on those evening baths when she washed her hair. But it was something. And in those small moment she could just simply let go and be. Just be.  
When her lungs started to burn she slowly up righted herself and her head broke through the water. Celene gasped for air and then moved to the position in the tube where her servants could wash her. When she sat still she put the face of the Empress back on and looked towards her three servants, their backs still turned towards her. They turned around. It was the same procedure as always. They knew the sound of her diving underwater and after moments of silence breaking through it again. They knew the sound of her moving in the tube to a position so her hair could be washed. And they knew the silence when she would sit still and it was their turn to attend to her.  
Each of them had their settled tasks. The first one a blond elven woman, who had been a personal servant of the Empress for many years and proven herself during the time, was the newest to the job. She would just stand there and hold the towel and take the Empress' cloths away before bringing her, her nightgown.  
The second elf was an elderly woman who had served the Empress as a handmaid ever since she had claimed the throne so many years ago. She held a basked in her hands that had all kinds of oils and soaps in it.  
And then there was the third elven woman. Celenc's heart skipped a beat as it always did when she thought of her. Briala had served her since childhood. The elf was the only person she trusted in all of Theads. Even now, after all these years and all their mistakes. It painted her to see Briala walking towards her with her head low not daring to look at her. It was the game they were forced to keep up. But no matter how big the burning ache grew she could not force herself to look away.  
Briala shot a daring glance at her and it sent shivers through her body. It was a look Celene was sure the others would not see. But they would she her shivers.  
'Is the water too cold, your imperial Majesty?' Briala asked softly as she kneeled down behind her and carefully laid her hand on the Empress' skull. Oh, what a wicked Game they played, Celene thought. Celene was fully aware that Briala knew all too well that it wasn't the water that had made her shiver. 'No, it is just the right temperature.' Celene sighed an leaned into Brialas touch. Brialas slender fingers began to massage her head and Celene let a soft moan escape. This was the closest thing they would ever have to being an actual couple. The closest thing to a romance that didn't need hiding for any price necessary. Because here in the in the her royal bath camber Briala could touch her and Celene could enjoy it while being witnessed. The two other servant would never see that there might be more to it.  
Before Celene had become Empress Briala was the only one to bath her. It had been sweet and innocent back then. But when Briala had returned after their six years apart, it all had changed. They both had grown up while only finding comfort in the memory of one single shared kiss during those years now long ago. Never knowing if it was ever to be more. But Briala had returned to Celenes side and the elf was still after almost 20 years of reign the only love she had ever known. Briala took her old place as her first handmaid as if she had never been gone. Celene had told her had she actually hadn't to do a servants job but Briala had just laughed at the idea. 'if not as a servant, your Majesty, as what else should I excuse to always being around you?' Celene swallowed, she never liked it when Biala had called her like that when they were in private. But before she could answer Briala kissed her neck and whispered in her ear 'Besides that, you surely wont expect me tolerate another woman touching you, no?' And then all Celene could do was whispering promises of eternal love while kissing every piece of her lovers skin she could find.  
Celene often found herself at a struggle to keep briefing when her thoughts wandered to what she would never have. The pain in her chest growing nearly unbearable. She tried pushing her thoughts away as Briala finished washing her hair and massaged some oil in it. Brialas finger wandered and now tended to comfort the rest of the Empress' body. Celene felt her throat tighten and stared at the ceiling, careful not to let any emotions show. She knew that her handmaids would never dare to look at her and just stare at the floor to their feet. But Briala looked at her, a concerned look on her face.  
No matter how much the Empress perfected her skill of not showing any emotions, Biala knew just what Celene felt. Briala gave her a reassuring squeeze under water and Celene smiled absent to nowhere in particular. It was all she dared. Brialas hands travled her body to rub the dirt off Celene which was sure not to exist. She closed her eyes again and just enjoyed it while letting her thoughts travel to fantasies of a life that would never be hers.  
Celene imagined a life where there was just Briala and her. They could live in a little cottage in the Dales, she imagined. They would never have to hide. They would be safe, both women more than capable to defend themselves. Maybe from time to time they would have some contact with the Dalish, so Briala would have the chance to get to know her people. Maybe there would be a little village nearby where they would trade goods. Maybe Celene would take care of a garden while Briala went hunting. Maybe they could find happiness where they could fully and truly meet as equals.  
Suddenly a touch on her inner tights traveling upwards brought her thoughts back to reality. It took all her willpower to not let show of her suprise as Brialas hand touched her where a servant should never touch the Empress. But while Celene could prevent a moan escaping her lips she could not control her hips pressing into Brialas hands seeking more contact.  
But before Celene could quite wrap her thoughts around what was happening, Brialas hand left and the elf rose. 'Does her imperial Majesty wish to stay a little longer in the water?' Briala asked, barely whispering. Celene, still too stunned at the boldness of her lover just shook her head. the three servants just bowed and the youngest left a bathing gown next to the tube before she joined the other in stepping away and turning her back respectfully towards Celene.  
The Empress stepped out of the tube and reached to the gown to throw it on. Oh what an wicked game Briala played!  
The elves turned back to her and the youngest wrapped a towel around the Empresses hair. Briala began to carefuly rub cream on her arms, and legs why the eldest of her servants let the water go. The youngest bowed again as she stepped away to pick up Celenes night gown from near the oven where it was warming and bring it behind the antivan divider where the Empress would change.  
'Finish and you are dismissed for the night.' Celene said, being all Empress. The three elven bowed low and Briala took her hands of Celenes skin and it burned in protest of the lost contact. But the Empress just walked proudly behind the semi transparent wall were she let her bathrobe fall on a stool and put on her night gown.  
Celene went to her bed chamber and sat at her private study where she opened a report and began to read it. She deepened her thoughts on the newest complains the nobles would bring to her. When the three elven women had finished and left with a deep bow and 'Your Radiance' the Empress would not pay attention. She just continued to read the report. When she was finished she blew out the candles and went to her door. The guards outside jumped to attention.  
'I wish not to be disturbed under any circumstances tonight.' the Empress ordered. The guards bowed as sign they understood and Celene went back to the loneliness of her private quarters.  
She blow out the candles one by one until only the candles on her nightstand were still burning. She then laid on her bed on top of the covers and waited. She did not know for how long, it did not matter to her. For so many years she would spent hours of waiting. She would sometimes sit there and read, sometimes she would just sit, sometimes she would practice her fighting skills. But most nights she would lay on her bed and just wait until the empty ache in her heart would the put to silence by a restless sleep that claimed her. And then there would be theses other nights, Celene cherished above everything. Tonight had to be one of them.  
Eventually the mirror of the secret passage would swung open and Briala came in. She walked towards the bed, her footsteps to quiet to be heard by human ears. She let her gown fall to the floor on her way and crawled next to the Empress.  
Celene did not waste any time and wrapping her arms around her lover and hold her tide not willing to ever let her go. Briala chuckled and murmured 'ma vhenan' into her Empress ear, enjoying the feeling of her own body pressed against her love. Celenes loving hands caressed her body and her soft lips sprayed her face with kisses. It broke Brialas heart to know how much their love hurt Celene, she knew how much the Empress wished she could offer her a better life, a lifetime together without ever hiding. Something that they would never be able to have. But the suppressed sobs of her Empress were all Briala needed to know to never doubt their love. Those alabaster white hands ever so gently and caressing but holding on to her as for dear life were to Briala like a promise of a dream they could share. The soft lips so desperately surging for Brialas love told Briala just how much her love depended on her.  
And Briala was almost too eager to give Celene whatever she wanted, let her do whatever she needed to stay sane. For it was just everything she needed to keep herself together. It was those little stolen moments during the day and the simple nights full of love that kept Briala moving in a world that was ruining her. She thrived on those moments. The Elf knew that it was everything they could have, not more not less. But it never stopped her from wanting more, wanting so much more of those moments when they were nothing but to people madly in love with each other. A livetime full of those moments would not satisfy Brialas hunger, but she took what she got. Knowing that it should have been more and that everything they had would never be enough. For both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! 
> 
> Since those two are my latest obsession I'm really new to the fandom I'd very much appreciate pretty much everything about them. So please let me let me know if you feel like you got something I should see. Leave a coment or talk to me on [Tumblr](https://bouquetofsongs.tumblr.com/)


End file.
